Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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