____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
