Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Houston, we have a blender
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
wow bdsm is so cute
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