No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
