I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
