pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
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i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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