i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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