I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
