My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
