Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
