Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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