I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
