if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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