Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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