this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He kissed a someone with a penis
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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