toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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