I've blown a few things in my day
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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