So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
