dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
