***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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