Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
