You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
