THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
