Having a random hookup so left but love u
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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