I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
