I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he laminated a picture of his dick.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
