boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
