i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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