we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
