Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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