we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
