oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
