I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
