how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
