Got a toothbrush?
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
tell me about the eggs
Randomize