we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
