He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize