well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
