Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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