And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
did i just pee glitter
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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