hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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