I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
