i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
