but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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