We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
