I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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