Buhtt sex?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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