He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
