We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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