Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
