Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
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I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
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She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize