im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize