Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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