I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
