he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
