Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
As shirtless as possible
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
