Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize